It's time once again for that favorite of pagan rituals, decorating the Christmas tree. Alright, I know that Christmas is a Christian holiday but bringing evergreens into your home during the winter solstice is a pagan tradition. The theory was that even though everything else decayed in the winter the conifers stayed green and therefore must have magical powers. Decorating the tree came from the Romans who hung metal replicas of the fertility god Bacchus on trees in hopes that spring would return. Bacchus was also the god of wine and intoxication. I recommend a box of wine to get through tree trimming. That way you won't run out. Unless you can turn water into wine, in which case Happy Birthday.
James (Age 10): "Deck the Halls with Balls of Holly."
Olympia (Age 14): "That's Boughs of Holly."
James: "That's what I said. Deck my balls with lots of holly. Fa La.. that would hurt a lot."
Olympia: "It's Boughs of Holly!" It's an evergreen branch!"
James: "So they want you to decorate the Christmas tree with more trees? Who writes this stuff?"
Olympia: "It's not deck the tree, it's deck the halls."
James: "Deck my balls their really jolly Fa AH!"
Olympia: "If you don't stop I'm going to deck you. I'll rip out your earrings, put in decoration hooks and hang you from the tree."
James: "As long as you don't make me the star at the top. That would smart."
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